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A Married Couple's Guide to Surviving the Holiday Season - RELEVANT

By Annie Eisner

A Married Couple's Guide to Surviving the Holiday Season - RELEVANT

Ah, the holidays -- a magical time filled with twinkling lights, peppermint mochas, and more stress than you ever thought two people could share. For young married couples, the season can feel like a delicate game of Jenga, where every family obligation, financial decision, and festive event is another block teetering on the edge of total chaos. But don't worry -- we've got your back. Here's your guide to navigating holiday stress without turning your living room into a battlefield. 1. Team Up, Don't Tangle Up First things first: Remember that you're a team. It's easy to forget this when you're deciding whether to spend Christmas Eve with your parents or your in-laws. Or when your partner insists on dragging a 12-foot tree into your 600-square-foot apartment. Instead of seeing these moments as battles to win, treat them like puzzles to solve together. Sit down, communicate, and make decisions that prioritize your marriage first. Pro tip: Use phrases like, "How can we make this work?" instead of, "Why are you like this?" Trust us, it makes a difference. 2. Budget Like Grown-Ups Money stress has a way of turning a cozy winter wonderland into a fiery pit of resentment. Between gifts, decorations, travel, and matching Christmas pajamas, the holidays can quickly snowball into a financial avalanche.

Set a realistic budget before you hit the stores or start adding things to your Amazon cart. Agree on how much you'll spend on each person and stick to it. Bonus points if you can find creative (read: cheap) ways to show your love, like baking cookies for gifts or hosting a DIY ornament night.

Pro tip: The "experience gift" is your best friend -- think date nights, concert tickets, or a promise to take your partner's car for a much-needed oil change. 3. Say No Without Guilt The holidays are prime time for overcommitment. Every cousin, coworker, and college roommate wants a slice of your already-packed schedule. Here's the secret: It's okay to say no. "Thanks so much for inviting us, but we're keeping our schedule light this year," is a perfectly valid response. So is, "Sorry, we can't make it, but let's catch up after the holidays." The goal is to protect your time so you can actually enjoy the season without constantly sprinting from one event to the next. Pro tip: Create a holiday "must-do" list. These are the traditions and gatherings that truly matter to you as a couple. If something doesn't make the list, it's easier to pass on it guilt-free. 4. Handle Family Drama Like Pros If there's one thing more consistent than Christmas carols, it's family drama. Whether it's passive-aggressive comments at the dinner table or an annual feud over who's bringing what to the potluck, you're bound to face some tension. The key? Unite as a couple. Have a game plan going into family gatherings and set boundaries where necessary. If Aunt Karen brings up politics, feel free to excuse yourself to "check on the pie." If your family pressures you about babies, laugh it off and redirect the conversation to your new puppy or houseplant. Pro tip: Create a secret code word or phrase with your spouse to signal, "I need backup!" Something inconspicuous like "pumpkin spice" or "Did you see the weather forecast?" works wonders. 5. Schedule Couple Time In the middle of the holiday madness, don't forget to actually enjoy each other. Schedule intentional time to slow down and connect -- whether it's a Christmas movie marathon, a drive to look at lights, or a low-key dinner at home. These little pockets of peace are essential for keeping your relationship strong during a season that can otherwise feel like one endless to-do list. Bonus: They also remind you why you said "I do" in the first place. Pro tip: Put it on the calendar. Seriously. If it's not scheduled, it's not happening. 6. Don't Aim for Perfection It's easy to get caught up in the idea of a "perfect" holiday. The Pinterest-perfect decorations, Instagram-worthy outfits, and TikTok-inspired gingerbread houses can set unrealistic expectations. But here's the thing: Perfect isn't the goal. Joy, connection, and celebrating the true meaning of the season are what matter.

So what if your tree is a little crooked or your cookies look like they were decorated by toddlers? Embrace the mess and laugh about it together. After all, these are the moments you'll remember years down the road -- not the perfectly coordinated gift wrap.

7. Keep the Reason for the Season in Sight When things start to feel overwhelming, take a step back and refocus on what the holidays are really about. For Christians, it's a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and the hope and joy He brings. Everything else -- the parties, the shopping, the twinkling lights -- is just extra.

Take time to pray together, attend a Christmas Eve service, or reflect on the blessings in your life. When you center your season on what matters most, everything else starts to fall into place.

The holidays don't have to feel like a test of your marriage's endurance. With a little planning, teamwork, and humor, you can make this season not only survivable but genuinely joyful. So grab your matching sweaters, pour some hot cocoa, and face the holiday chaos hand-in-hand -- because together, you've got this.

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